Is It Worth It?
by TomsBabe136
Summary: ‘I love him, so much I truly do. But…is it worth it?’


**HELLO ALL! :D**

**It has been over a year and I am SO GLAD to be back! I would like to dedicate this story to**_** Hermione-maiosh**_** for inspiring me to write once more! :D **

**Disclaimer: I do NOT own Harry Potter or any of the characters.**

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**Is it worth it?**

Pansy sat restlessly in her seat as she drummed her manicured fingers against the glossy, dark pine wood of her desk. She had been sitting here for an hour listening to the tapping of her fingers as she tried to finish her Potions homework.

'Wolfsbane Potion is the potion that that will allow werewolves to become docile once they have transformed into there wolf form. The ingredients include…'

In an hour, between her awkward fidgeting and shameless drifting into her own little world she had written 24 words which had to become 500 in the next few hours.

'_Come on Pansy, focus!' _

The little voice in her head had been repeating that every 3 minutes. The trouble was…she couldn't focus. Her mind kept drifting to a tall blond. That gorgeous blond who she could never tear her gaze from. Draco Malfoy, her fellow classmate and boyfriend of now 6 months. As of their first meeting when they were 3, Pansy had fallen head over heels for Draco throughout the years. Now he was hers and she couldn't be happier…right?

'_I love him, so much I truly do. But…is it worth it?' _

The first few months of their relationship had been the toughest, or so she hoped. They fought countless day to day. Their words were mistaken or taken the wrong way and for weeks the Slytherin dorms would be filled with her screams and his roars. Just like every other couple, they always made up. They both could never stand to be away from the other for any length of time.

For the past few months everything seemed perfect. Little fights here and there but his loving actions showed her what she really meant to him. Draco made her feel wanted, more than anyone else had.

'_I bet he's only with me because of _**one**_ thing. He is probably seeing other girls behind my back. I'm just a fool…I'm his fool.' _

Pansy raised her hands and pushed her hair away from her porcelain face and placed them on her head. At times she wanted to leave him; maybe her life would be simpler. She could find someone else; they would have the perfect relationship. He would shower her with love and devotion and be the man of her dreams. But…he would never be Draco. In her pearl green eyes, Draco was the man for her; he was the love of her life.

Sometimes his remarks made her feel like a piece of meat to him. It was as if he was waiting for one thing, the one thing that was precious to her and kept her innocent in her mind. That feeling of dread erupted in her gut every time they got close. With every kiss or touch she would pull back. Frightened of the fact that he may leave her, which was why she never opened herself up to him. She was a closed book that even Draco Malfoy could not open. Letting her guard down always seemed to end with a broken heart.

'_I don't know what to do. If I open my heart to him, I'm giving him the power to destroy me…can I trust that he would not?' _

Pansy jumped when the door open suddenly. Long legs emerged from the corridor and the flash or blond hair indicated that is was the man who had not left her mind all day. As she stared at his pale, handsome face her lips started to form into a smile. His icy blue eyes met hers, a smirk plastered on his face (as per usual) and she felt herself melt. It was amazing that the simplest gesture from him made her weak in the knees.

'Why hello beautiful,' Draco walked over and pecked her small lips.

'Hi.' Her quiet tone made Draco worry instantly.

'Are you ok baby?'

'Yes, yes of course I am.' She quickly grinned while nodding.

He took her small, delicate hand in his and led her to the edge of perfectly made bed. H sat and patted the place next to him, indicated to her to sit. Ash she sat, he never let go of her hand. Deep inside she wanted to think it was because he never wanted to let her go. Just as the thought entered her head, he let go of her hand. She sighed.

'_Why do I expect so much and then get so little?' _

'Now, we both know you better than that my dear.' Draco stated.

'What are you talking about?' She averted her eyes; he really did know her better than anyone else.

Draco laughed, 'Dear you know what I mean. Now, tell me what is bothering you.'

'Nothing. I promise'

A sigh escaped his lips, 'Pansy, please. I don't like seeing you so upset. You have been distant for days.'

'It's nothing, I promise. Just stress you know?'

'_That was the most stupid lie ever Pansy!' _

Knowing this was going nowhere, Draco just nodded.

'Yes, school is getting much harder in my opinion. Father tried to convince Snape to cut back on the homework for Slytherins but he was having none of it. Old git.'

Pansy laughed slightly, 'Yes but he is one of the greatest wizards of our time.'

'Correct you are dear.' Draco smirked.

Leaning in slowly, he captured her lips in a tender kiss. Pansy's heart continued to race faster with every second. Six months together, and she still would never tire of the feeling his kisses gave her. As he deepened the kiss Pansy broke from her trance and pulled back from his amazing lips.

'Draco, stop.'

'What? Why? Come on baby.' Draco started placing light kisses over her neck. Pansy felt herself give in slowly. _'NO!' _Her mind screamed and she jumped back.

'Draco stop it!'

'What the heck Pansy?' Draco spat out.

'Draco, can you for one moment just stop being so sexual. You never stop. It is driving me mad!'

Draco stood up angrily, 'Oh well excuse me for wanting to kiss my girlfriend!'

Pansy sighed, slightly feeling guilty, 'Draco I di--'

'No save it! I get this all the time with you.' Draco started pacing around the room, 'Is it such a crime that I am attracted to you? Is it wrong of me to want to kiss you and show you how much you mean to me? I love you god dammit. You are my everything! My world! Without you my life has no meaning. Are you not attracted to me? Is that what this is about?'

'What? No, of course not! Don't be silly.'

'Then what Pansy, help me understand!' He was right up next to her, his tall frame towering over her.

'I just don't see why we need to do any of…_that_ to show each other how much we love one another. I mean what is wrong with the little gestures?'

'Nothing Pansy. But what is wrong with being passionate with one another as well as having the little things?' Draco eyes softened and he placed her hand slowly in his and brought it up to his lips.

'Nothing…' That was all she could say, he was right. They could have both.

'I just…' Pansy closed her eyes and looked down.

'What baby?'

Pansy looked up and right into his eyes, 'I just don't want to be used for one thing.'

'Pansy we have been over this one hundred times baby.'

'Yes I know but it is something always on my mind.' She sat down, her knees shaking with her dry sobs.

Gently he placed his hand under her chin and brought her head up as he wiped her tears, 'You are not just one thing to me Pansy. You are everything. I want to be with you for as long as you'll have me. I know I am not the most romantic or publically declare my love for you but that doesn't mean I don't love you. Do you know that when you write notes in class my eyes are glued to you? The way you brush your hair out your face then it falls back, how you bite your nails when you are scared and when you sleep your gentle lips open as you dream. I notice all the small things Pansy.'

Speechless. That was the only word to describe Pansy at that moment. That certainly blew her away.

'Draco I…I don't know what to say.'

'Tell me you love me, that's all I need to hear.'

'I love you. I love you so much.'

Their lips met once more. You could have sworn fireworks went off. He slowly parted his lips from hers, still feeling her warm breath on his face.

'Don't you ever doubt I don't love you. Ever.'

'I won't,' Pansy smiled, truly happy for the first time in a while.

As they joined hands and walked down the stairs heading to the Great Hall, Pansy knew that this is where she wanted to be. Was it worth it? She didn't know and for once, she didn't care. Maybe it wouldn't work out but right now, she had him and that itself was worth it.

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Hello again :)

I hope you all enjoyed. In my opinion, this was not my best. I am rusty from having writers block and not writing for a year. Please feel free to review, very much appreciated!

Take Care all!

-TomsBabe136


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